Elaine M. (Arnold) Tolsma, 93, of Amherst, died Saturday, July 26, 2025.
Born Jan. 9, 1932, Mrs. Tolsma grew up in Amherst and graduated from Amherst High School. She was very active at her high school. She was a woman of many gifts. She was a talented artist, a skilled seamstress, cook and baker, and a graceful dancer. Her deep love for children and dance shaped much of her life – leading her to become a painter, a majorette for the Buffalo Bills, and for five decades she dedicated herself to teaching dance, inspiring generations with her passion and grace.
Her talent and gentle spirit earned her the respect of many, including the staff at Amherst Central District Guided Observation Nursery School program, where she was not only a dedicated parent but also joined the staff as a teacher. Of all her accomplishments, Mrs. Tolsma’s greatest pride and joy was her family and she always put them first. She considered her most meaningful achievement to be the mother of seven, grandmother of 19, and great-grandmother of 16.
She loved the outdoors and enjoyed spending time in Wilson and at the family’s cottage on Honeoye Lake with family and friends. In retirement, she and her husband, Dick, went into child care at their home, caring for their grandchildren. That was another long-term job – which she loved. They both enjoyed being spectators at their children and grandchildren’s sports events.
For more than 16 years, she battled serious illnesses and was a cancer survivor, facing each day with resilience and determination. She became known to those around her as the strongest person they had ever known.
Mrs. Tolsma was married to the love of her life, the late Richard G. Tolsma, for 70 years. She was the mother of Darcy (Thomas) Spengler, Tracy (Michael) Riegel, Jody (Scott) Kuppinger, Randy (Robyn), Terry (Kathy), and the late Wendy (Scott) Wexler and late Gregory (MaryAnn Thomann); grandmother of 19; great-grandmother of 16; daughter of Arthur and Marion (Gregoire) Arnold; sister of the late Kenneth (Carol) Arnold; sister-in-law of Judy (Ron) Benson, and the late Herbert Jr. (late Alice), late Nancy Smith Bell, and late Donald (late Maxine). She is also survived by many family and friends.
Visitation was held on Aug. 3 at the Mesnekoff Funeral Home, 8630 Transit Road, East Amherst. A Mass of Christian Burial was celebrated Aug. 4 at St. Leo the Great, Amherst. Memorials may be made to Hydrocephalus Association c/o Kyle and Natalie Kuppinger (Team Josiah), 1450 Doebler Drive, North Tonawanda, NY 14120, or the Amherst Central School District c/o Laura Bosinski, “Elaine Tolsma Memorial Early Childhood Education or Dance Scholarship,” 55 Kings Highway, Amherst, NY 14226.
